So You Think You Want To Alter Your Mom’s Wedding Dress For Your Rehearsal Dinner…
A Q & A with deMelis Atelier
You’ve found the dream wedding dress, but what will you wear to your wedding rehearsal dinner? A hot trend in the wedding fashion world has brides wearing their mom’s or another loved one’s, like their grandmother’s, wedding dress to their rehearsal dinner.
If you are thinking about wearing your mom’s wedding dress, or any other vintage or heirloom style dress, as your wedding’s rehearsal dinner outfit, you have found yourself in the right place as we are talking to a sewing and alterations expert to get the insider details on everything you need to know. This is a big deal and it’s a process to alter a wedding dress to wear to your night before the big day, so we went right to the pros!
Your mom likely saved her dress for you all these years with the hopes that you’d wear it when you got married. But, that’s a lot of pressure because maybe you’re not the same size, or honestly, it’s just not your vibe. Enter altering and then wearing your mom’s dress for a wedding adjacent event, like an engagement party, bridal shower, or the most popular trend we’re seeing is the night before rehearsal dinner and welcome party. (Cue the tears now of you walking down the aisle at the ceremony rehearsal in your mom’s dress reimagined!)
But, how do you get started? What’s the first step? And, how much does all of this cost?
Melissa of deMelis Atelier is a Connecticut-based bridal sewing expert, specializing in alterations, vintage remakes, and gown cleaning and preservation is here with us to give you the in’s and out’s if you’re just starting down this process and thinking about wearing your mom’s wedding dress for your wedding’s rehearsal dinner.
If you are planning a wedding rehearsal dinner, you have probably thought about all the details from the venue to the catering, the guest list and decor. As a bride, you have probably put most of your time into planning your wedding day attire, but it’s also important to consider what you will wear to the rehearsal dinner as the night before the wedding is a great way to set the tone for the wedding weekend. You want to feel like “the bride” naturally, but you also want to feel confident and relaxed, of course!
Photo credit: deMelis Atelier
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If you love vintage style or want to add an extra personal touch to your wedding rehearsal dinner, wearing your mom’s wedding dress might be a great option for you. Let’s face it, your mom got married decades ago and her bridal fashion is not your vision for what you will wear on your wedding day. Plus, wearing your mom’s wedding dress the night before your wedding is a great compromise because you can then have your own bridal dress for your wedding day.
Repurposing a wedding dress, whether your mom’s, grandmother’s, aunt’s, and altering it to fit your fashion sense is a great way to pay tribute to your loved one and create a personalized outfit full of memories and love. We talked to the expert at deMelis Atelier to get the inside scoop on everything brides should know about altering their mom’s wedding dress to wear for their rehearsal dinner outfit.
Here’s our interview with Melissa…
What are the most important things that people who are thinking about altering their mom's wedding dress for their rehearsal dinner need to know?
From deMelis Atelier: It's super important to have a general understanding of the process and to get in touch with a sewing professional early. Seamstresses and dressmakers are busier than ever and our numbers are dwindling so reserving a spot with someone and being timely is critical.
Do people need to clean the dress first before bringing it to a seamstress or wait until after speaking to a professional?
From deMelis Atelier: We encourage our brides and nearlyweds to assess the gowns for themselves first and then we can help them make a decision. Heirloom dresses that are in good shape with minimal staining and yellowing don’t always have to be cleaned/restored in order to be used- but I will say that the majority need a little refresh even if they were well preserved. We have seen the restoration and cleaning process have incredible results for brightening and bringing life back to vintage garments. It should be mentioned that cleaning an old gown is never just a standard dry cleaning. Older materials have to undergo a different procedure to keep the fibers safe and free from damage. This process is typically more expensive than regular gown cleaning so brides should be aware of this when getting into these projects.
Photo credit: deMelis Atelier
Why is it so important to work with not just a professional alterations expert, but one that has bridal experience?
From deMelis Atelier: As many professional sewers can tell you, clothing alterations, dressmaking, bridal sewing, tailoring, etc all require a different skill set- even if some of those skills are related or transferable. A bridal specialist might not be a great tailor, or someone who alters streetwear might not do well with altering a wedding dress. The best bridal alterations specialists and dressmakers have loads of experience and specialize in their specific niche. Over the years my colleagues and I have seen plenty of garments that were not properly adjusted or sewn and it creates so many problems for clients. Brides and newlyweds should do a lot of research before selecting someone to handle their special garments.
What are some alterations that are possible? Such as hemming, taking off sleeves, changing necklines, etc?
From deMelis Atelier: Most anything is possible with remodeling a vintage dress. We have seen some where the bride mainly wanted it cut shorter or the sleeves removed. We have had others where we simply used the heirloom dress for the material and the final product looked nothing like the original.
How easy is dying or changing the color of the dress? Or is it best to leave the color as is?
From deMelis Atelier: Dying works best on natural fibers but is possible on some synthetics. While many heirloom dresses were made of better materials than we tend to see nowadays, the trims, beads, and linings can sometimes handle dye differently and might not yield an even result. For this reason, I myself will never do dying- it’s just not my specialty and I find the risk too high. However, if you can find someone specialized online it may be a good option if a bride has their heart set on it.
What if your mom and you are totally different sizes, is this still possible?
From deMelis Atelier: It absolutely is possible but it will depend on the design the client is looking to achieve and what they may need to be willing to sacrifice in order to use materials that match or make the design work. This is a good time to mention other options such as making a veil or dressing robe or bridal bomber jacket instead of altering the dress to wear to the wedding rehearsal dinner. Sometimes the idea of a dress or whole outfit isn’t the right vibe for a bride or nearlywed. If someone is still wanting to do something creative, sentimental and fun, there are plenty of other ways to do it.
Photo credit: deMelis Atelier
Who is repurposing a wedding dress right for?
From deMelis Atelier: Brides and nearlyweds who want to create something new and fun out of something meaningful to them and their family. It’s a great way to help certain family members feel extra included or give a nod to past generations.
Who is repurposing a wedding dress wrong for?
From deMelis Atelier: Custom projects can be tricky for people who don’t trust the process or have a hard time envisioning more abstract ideas. It can be stressful not to know exactly the end result. Creating a custom dress or accessory is also a monetary investment because it’s a very delicate process and takes skilled hands and a good amount of time. If a dress isn’t someone’s vibe there are other ways to incorporate family heirlooms in creative ways, you just have to give it some thought.
What is the ideal timeline for an altered vintage dress? AKA how far in advance of my rehearsal dinner day should I be working on this?
From deMelis Atelier: This is a hard question to answer broadly as every sewing pro is going to work differently but the general MINIMUM timeline is around 8-10 weeks if the heirloom item does NOT need cleaning. Cleaning can take weeks if garments have to be sent out so it’s important to think about that when planning a timeline.
For my business, we like to start consulting with people during the slower winter months. This gives us plenty of time to discuss cleaning, design ideas, take measurements and get the process started more slowly before things ramp up closer to the client’s wedding date.
Photo credit: deMelis Atelier
What can people expect in terms of back and forth? I suspect there will be an initial meeting to try the dress on, get measurements, and talk design, but then how about after that?
From deMelis Atelier: For me personally, the initial meeting is to discuss all of these topics and come up with the design and decide on cleaning. Once a dress is back from cleaning and restoration, we will do the initial big adjustments such as chopping the skirt or getting a bodice set up to properly fit the client. After that initial meeting we usually do three fittings- the first is to see how those initial dramatic changes worked, the second is to check in and everything should be nearly set, and then the final fitting/pickup where all of the ‘finish work’ is complete and clients can take their item home.
If I don’t end up wearing the dress, what are some other options to incorporate my mom’s wedding dress into my rehearsal dinner?
From deMelis Atelier: There are so many different ways to repurpose your mom’s wedding dress besides just wearing it to your rehearsal dinner. You can even repurpose your own wedding dress after wedding day. A few of our favorite past projects include:
Bouquet wraps
Christmas tree shirts and ornaments
New wedding veils that include lace from the dress
Hearts or pieces sewn into the new wedding dress as the bride’s “something old”
Dressing robes for wedding morning
Embellishing Converse sneakers with elements from the heirloom piece
Scrunchies
Photo credit: deMelis Atelier
Any final thoughts or words of wisdom?
From deMelis Atelier: Repurposing your mom’s or grandmother’s wedding dress is not just for vintage-style brides. If you are wanting to make more sustainable choices, especially when wedding planning, then altering an old wedding dress can be a great eco-friendly choice. Buying a new item that may be low quality never made anyone feel their best, and brides deserve to feel their best all wedding weekend.
Transforming your mom’s wedding dress for your rehearsal dinner isn’t just a style choice for the night before your big day - it’s a beautiful way to carry her love and memories into this next phase of your life. Whether you’re dreaming of a small tweak or a total glow-up, this is your chance to create something truly one-of-a-kind from your mom’s dress that she’s been holding onto all of these years for you to use.
Ready to make the magic happen? deMelis Atelier is here to help guide you and work with you! Reach out today and work with Melissa to turn your mother’s bridal dress into a stunning masterpiece you’ll cherish forever. (Don’t forget to bring your tissues!)
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