What Is A Wedding Rehearsal Dinner…And Do I Have to Have One?
By Amanda Zack, Lantern Room Creative
For many couples, planning a wedding & rehearsal dinner is the first time they’ll host a major celebration together — and when the big day arrives, they want it to go off without a hitch. After all, nobody wants to rewatch their wedding video to see a bridesmaid cross to the wrong side of the altar or remember how they tripped over the words in their vows!
To prevent day-of mistakes, there is no better practice than a full-blown rehearsal. Wedding rehearsals are usually held at the wedding venue with everyone participating in the ceremony: the couple, their officiant, their parents, and the wedding party.
Once everyone feels comfortable and prepared for the following day, it is traditional for the couple to host a rehearsal dinner to kick off the weekend of celebrations.
Typically held right after the rehearsal, the pre-wedding dinner is an opportunity for the couple to unwind and enjoy the company of their nearest and dearest. And since the group is often much smaller than the wedding’s guest list, it allows for a more intimate gathering with plenty of one-on-one time with family and friends.
Let’s break down some of the most common questions about rehearsal dinners.
Photo credit: Carter Rose Photography
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
Is A Rehearsal Dinner Required?
While it is common practice, hosting a rehearsal dinner is not mandatory. As with everything related to a wedding, it is ultimately up to the couple whether they want to plan a rehearsal dinner. Note that many couples find that the rehearsal dinner helps to relieve some of the pre-wedding jitters!
With that said, some couples choose to throw a welcome party the night before in lieu of a traditional rehearsal dinner. Since welcome parties are open to all wedding guests, this can be a fun way to include everyone and spend time with people in a more relaxed atmosphere before the big day. However, be mindful that larger welcome parties typically involve a heftier price tag than a smaller rehearsal dinner.
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more on this, check out ‘What Is A Wedding Welcome Party? Do We Have To Have One?’)
What Happens At A Rehearsal Dinner?
As the name suggests, the event involves a meal — although there is no rule that it must be dinner. Brunch or lunch celebrations might make more sense depending on guests’ arrivals and the wedding weekend timeline. (Or if you just like mimosas!)
Outside of sharing a meal, the rehearsal dinner is a time for close friends and family to meet and celebrate before the big day. If some of your guests do not know one another, consider playing icebreaker games to get the party started!
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For some fun icebreaker ideas, check out ‘6 Rehearsal Dinner Activities To Break The Ice’ and these fun wedding rehearsal dinner games.)
The rehearsal dinner is also an occasion for the couple and guests of honor to give toasts in a more intimate environment. While there will be wedding toasts the following day, some people may prefer sharing emotional sentiments within their inner circle. In addition, couples can use this pre-wedding opportunity to hand out gifts to their parents and wedding party members in a more private setting.
As the evening winds down, it’s also an excellent time to remind everyone about the details for the following day. Let them know when and where to show up and what they need to bring. It never hurts to hear it again!
Photo credit: Carter Rose Photography
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
Who Hosts The Rehearsal Dinner?
Traditionally, the groom’s family is responsible for hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner. However, such traditions are outdated as modern couples toss out the rule books. With the increase in the average age of marriage, many soonlyweds choose to host and fund their own rehearsal dinners. And in a same-sex wedding, there may not be a groom!
If one set of parents hosts the wedding, it’s customary for the other set of parents to host the rehearsal dinner. However, if both sets of parents contribute to the wedding, it’s common for the couple to take care of the rehearsal dinner.
The answer to this question can vary due to family dynamics and other personal factors, so it’s worth discussing with your partner and your respective families to find a solution.
How Do I Plan A Rehearsal Dinner?
In many ways, planning a rehearsal dinner is like planning a scaled-down wedding. You’ll need to consider many of the same components, including a venue, food and beverages, décor, and entertainment. However, in most cases, you do not have to invest as much time and energy into these elements.
(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more on planning, check out our step by step process to plan your party and our article on the best kept wedding rehearsal dinner secrets!)
For example, you may opt for a curated playlist in place of a live musician for a cozy backyard rehearsal dinner. Or, if you are hosting at a local restaurant, you might not need to worry about sourcing décor.
Most couples also skip certain vendors for the rehearsal dinner, like photographers, florists, and stationers. Since these celebrations tend to feel more casual, you can typically get away with budget-friendly alternatives, like phone selfies and e-invites.
In terms of timing, rest assured you do not need to spend as much time planning the rehearsal dinner as a wedding! A good rule of thumb is to notify guests four to six weeks prior, which means you can start planning your rehearsal dinner three to four months before the wedding without much concern. But, of course, if you intend to host your pre-wedding celebration at a highly sought-after location—like a popular restaurant or public space—you may want to book your venue early and figure out the details later.
After the busyness of wedding planning, rehearsal dinners offer an excellent chance to socialize and relax before the big day itself. While not required, most couples appreciate the time to celebrate with loved ones and enjoy the fruits of their hard work!
If you’re planning a rehearsal dinner, don’t miss some of these must-read resources:
About Let’s Get Rehearsed!
Welcome to stress-free and easy wedding rehearsal dinner planning and ideas! Let’s Get Rehearsed is the best, most helpful planning and inspiration resource for all things wedding rehearsal dinners, wedding welcome parties, and the night before the wedding celebrations. If you’re in rehearsal dinner planning mode or looking for unique ideas, check out our real rehearsal dinner and welcome party photos, rehearsal dinner ideas and inspiration, advice for planning a wedding rehearsal dinner, and a rehearsal dinner printable and download shop.
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Let’s Get Rehearsed is all about getting you rehearsed before the wedding, so you can get to the celebration!
Amanda Zack is the owner of Lantern Room Creative, a boutique copywriting agency that specializes in brand messaging and digital marketing solutions for creatives and wedding professionals.