Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette Questions Answered

Planning AdviceEtiquette
Written By Julianne Smith

By Amanda Zack, Lantern Room Creative

When planning a successful wedding rehearsal dinner, it's best to start with the basics to ensure smooth sailing. You will have plenty of creative freedom with the wedding rehearsal dinner theme, entertainment, and food — but before diving into the details, you will want to gain clarity on other essential factors, like your finances/budget, guest list, and invitations for your wedding rehearsal dinner planning advice.

If you’re feeling bogged down by endless questions, let us provide peace of mind with our rehearsal dinner etiquette guide. This post will cover rehearsal dinner basics and answer some commonly asked questions, so you can confidently plan a memorable celebration with your inner circle.

If you're ready to get the ball rolling, grab a notebook and start reading!

Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!

Who hosts and pays for the rehearsal dinner?

It's customary that the partner’s family who isn’t paying for the wedding hosts and pays for the rehearsal dinner. However, many modern couples are leaving this wedding tradition behind and opting to host and fund their own rehearsal dinner. With an increase in the average age of marriage, more couples are taking financial responsibility for this pre-wedding celebration.

(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more on who pays, check out ‘Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Budget: How Much & Who Pays?’ and ‘Help! I’m Really Unhappy With The Rehearsal Dinner My Fiance’s Family Is Planning.’)

When one set of parents hosts the wedding, it's common for the other partner's parents to make accommodations for the rehearsal dinner. If both sides of the family contribute to the wedding, the couple may cover the rehearsal dinner.

Before moving forward, discuss the details with your partner and family.

Who gets invited to the rehearsal dinner?

When it comes to your guest list, keep it small and intimate. Typically, the immediate family, wedding party, extended family, out-of-town guests, and officiant receive an invite. If you still need help deciding who makes the cut, let's break this list down more. Your immediate family includes your parents, siblings, and grandparents, whereas extended family covers your aunts, uncles, and cousins. Keep in mind you don't need to invite all your family members. Select close-knit loved ones. 

Your wedding party should also receive an invite. If they have permission to bring a plus-one to your special day, it's customary for their guest to attend the rehearsal dinner too. However, this decision is up to you and your partner. First, consider your budget and venue accommodations before determining if you can host additional attendees.  

As for out-of-town guests, you can add them to the roster as well. If you're hosting a destination wedding, there are better options than inviting all your guests for an intimate celebration. Instead, consider hosting a welcome gathering after your rehearsal dinner for travelers to stop by, enjoy some appetizers, and catch up. Welcome parties are becoming a popular staple of wedding festivities! 

Finally, your officiant should make a special appearance. If they're a family member or part of the wedding party, they may be on the list already. But, regardless of their relationship with you and your significant other, it’s customary to extend an invitation.

(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more on guest lists and invites, check out our breakdown of the wedding rehearsal guest list and our article on rehearsal dinner invite etiquette.)

How do you invite guests?

From stunning wedding stationery to e-invites, there are plenty of ways to inform your guests about your rehearsal dinner. For couples who want an eco-friendly option, e-invites are the way to go. You can use sites like Paperless Post and Greenvelope to create beautiful and sustainable invitations.

(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more invite ideas, check out our customizable wedding rehearsal dinner invite printables)

But classic stationery hasn't gone out of style! It's still a popular choice for engaged couples because of the stunning design and tangible reminder. In addition, this option is beneficial for older guests who may not check their emails regularly.

Whether you opt for an insert in your wedding invitations (for designated guests), a phone call, or an e-invite, touch base with your immediate family first before finalizing your list so you don't forget anyone.

Keeping track of guests when you're busy with wedding planning is challenging. So depend on your partner and family for additional support!

Where should your rehearsal dinner be held?

At this point, you may have secured your wedding venue, but what about the location for your rehearsal dinner? Pro Tip: Staying local provides the ultimate convenience for you and your guests. Consider selecting a place near your rehearsal for an easy commute. The last thing you want is for guests to get stuck in traffic!

Your preferred theme and style will also help you determine the right spot to host your dinner. For example, an upscale restaurant downtown may be ideal if you envision a black-tie affair. In contrast, you might opt for a cozier and more cost-effective destination, like your family's backyard, a local brewery, or a favorite restaurant.

(Let’s Get Rehearsed editor’s note: For more on venues, check out our article on how to choose the perfect venue and these gorgeous venues in the Blue Ridge Mountains)

Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!

Should the couple be consulted when deciding the venue, colors, décor, etc.?

Although it's not necessary (especially for hands-off couples), it's nice to feel involved in planning decisions and have the chance to showcase your personality and savor the result. In addition, you can add personal touches, like videos, speeches, favorite playlists, icebreakers, and unique cuisine. For instance, if you're featuring plated dinners at your reception party, consider a fun option at your rehearsal dinner, such as a taco bar or a boba tea stand.

There are many components to planning your wedding weekend, but your rehearsal dinner doesn't need to be complicated. Instead, it's your opportunity to unwind and mingle with your inner circle before your big day arrives. Once you sort out the minor details, go with the flow and make the most of your time with your loved ones!

If you’re planning a rehearsal dinner, don’t miss some of these must-read resources:

About Let’s Get Rehearsed!

Welcome to stress-free and easy wedding rehearsal dinner planning and ideas! Let’s Get Rehearsed is the best, most helpful planning and inspiration resource for all things wedding rehearsal dinners, wedding welcome parties, and the night before the wedding celebrations. If you’re in rehearsal dinner planning mode or looking for unique ideas, check out our real rehearsal dinner and welcome party photos, rehearsal dinner ideas and inspiration, advice for planning a wedding rehearsal dinner, and a rehearsal dinner printable and download shop.

Don’t forget to visit the Let’s Get Rehearsed Shop where you can find fun and affordable wedding rehearsal dinner invitations, wedding welcome party signs, printables, digital downloads and more.

Let’s Get Rehearsed is all about getting you rehearsed before the wedding, so you can get to the celebration!

Amanda Zack is the owner of Lantern Room Creative, a boutique copywriting agency that specializes in brand messaging and digital marketing solutions for creatives and wedding professionals.

Julianne Smith
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