Here’s The Ideal Timeline for Planning Your Rehearsal Dinner
By Meghan Ely, OFD Consulting
Your wedding week has finally arrived, and you can almost taste the almond buttercream you picked for your cake. But before you can exchange vows, you must rehearse the ceremony to ensure it runs smoothly on the big day. Typically scheduled for the eve of the wedding, the rehearsal is then followed by a celebratory gathering of the couple and their closest loved ones: the rehearsal dinner.
While it’s common to have your wedding day timeline ironed out months in advance, many couples don’t think about the timing of their rehearsal dinner until it’s almost too late. When should it start? How long should it last? Do you eat dinner or give toasts first?
Keep reading to learn the answers to these questions (and more).
Photo credit: Blaine Siesser Photography
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The Rehearsal
You can’t plan a rehearsal dinner without confirming the logistics of your rehearsal first. Otherwise, you might end up with a scheduling conflict and a room of confused guests.
“So many couples will schedule their rehearsal dinner to begin right after their actual wedding rehearsal, but you have to leave a buffer for your wedding party and family to arrive on time and rehearse,” stresses Nora Sheils of Rock Paper Coin and Bridal Bliss.
While the rehearsal itself may take only 20 to 30 minutes, it’s wise to allot at least an hour to make up for potential delays, latecomers, and reruns. Typically, the ceremony venue sets the rehearsal start time, allowing you to work forward from there.
If dinner is hosted elsewhere, you’ll also need to factor in travel time for everyone involved in the rehearsal. Jen Sulak of Weirdo Weddings notes that timing might influence your rehearsal dinner venue, encouraging couples to “consider when and where you need to do your rehearsal and plan accordingly for your start or end time.”
In addition to transit time, consider the parking situation. Will it take extra time for you and your guests to look for street parking? Pad your timeline enough to allow people to arrive on time without feeling rushed, especially those attending the ceremony rehearsal.
The Welcome
For many guests, the rehearsal dinner marks the first time they get to see one another. So, instead of whisking them right to the table for dinner, set aside some time to allow people to chat and settle in for the evening.
Colton Simmons of Colton Simmons Photography adds that buffer time takes the pressure off guests who might run late. “Give everyone a bit of time to arrive, as they may be flying into town that day or having issues checking into their hotels,” he recommends.
However, be mindful that most people will arrive hungry. Serving some drinks and light hors d’oeuvres is a great way to welcome guests and help pass the time until dinner.
In terms of timing, Khloe Jackson of W Events suggests “allocating thirty minutes of mingling for guests to get comfortable before sitting down for dinner and toasts.”
When it’s time for dinner, make an announcement asking guests to take their seats as the kitchen prepares to serve the party.
Photo credit: Caroline’s Collective
The Dinner
Nobody enjoys a rushed meal, so give people plenty of time to enjoy the food and talk with each other. A good rule of thumb is to plan for “60-90 minutes to eat, talk, and celebrate,” says Twickenham House and Hall’s Sarah Anderson.
“Depending on the guest count for the rehearsal dinner, getting food to each person may take a while,” she explains. “Therefore, allow plenty of time to eat before moving on to other evening festivities.”
Avoid overlapping dinner with other activities, like speeches, games, or dancing. Instead, let conversations flow without distractions and save the group fun for after dinner.
The Toasts
Once the tables have been cleared, your guests will probably start thinking about a final drink before heading home to rest before the wedding. This is the perfect time to bring everyone’s attention back to the reason they’re gathering: celebrating your union!
Sheils recommends “ending the night with warm toasts and speeches before everyone departs for the night.” During this wind-down period, you can also incorporate games, cultural traditions, and other activities to wrap up the evening.
Anderson suggests allowing “about 30 minutes for toasts, gifts, or unique individual touches during the rehearsal dinner.” To keep the celebration on schedule, set a time limit for toasts and announce the last call so guests know to order a final drink if desired.
Photo Credit: Jessica K Feiden
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
The Farewell
Following this timeline, the average rehearsal dinner lasts about two to three hours. Timing can vary by venue, and it’s natural to want to linger with your loved ones after dinner. However, remember that people need plenty of energy to celebrate the next day — you and your partner, especially! Be firm on the end time and head out as scheduled.
“A relatively early overall end time is an excellent plan to be well-rested for the wedding day,” assures Sarah Chianese of Mangia and Enjoy! “Rest, relish in the joy of the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and prepare for phenomenal forever memories!”
If you and your partner are hosting the rehearsal dinner, you might need to stay back for a moment to handle the bill and close out with the restaurant or caterer. But after that, it’s off to bed for you two!
While this post covers the general flow of a rehearsal dinner, it’s ultimately your event to make your own. If you prefer a leisurely brunch the day before your wedding, go for it! If you want to host a large welcome party instead of an intimate dinner, you can do so! In any case, you’ll want to coordinate the timeline to avoid wedding day headaches.
And if the rehearsal dinner feels like another event you don’t have time to plan, Jackson encourages hiring your wedding planning team to do it for you. “Having your rehearsal dinner managed by professionals will ensure you are able to be the guests of honor (not the hosts!) throughout the wedding weekend,” she promises.
Your rehearsal dinner is a time to gather with loved ones and soak in the magnitude of the occasion. It also marks the end of wedding planning, and that’s certainly worth celebrating! Pat yourself on the back (you did it!), leave the stress at the door, and enjoy your last night as a fiancé(e) — tomorrow, you’ll be married!
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
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About Let’s Get Rehearsed!
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Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting. Ely is a sought-after speaker, adjunct professor in the field of public relations, and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.