What Most Couples Forget While Planning Their Wedding Rehearsal Dinner
When wedding planning, there are a lot of things going on at once. From the cake to the flowers to the vows to the photography to the outfits to the lighting to the wedding party to the gifts to the showers to the honeymoon. It’s all a lot!
With all that’s going on with the wedding itself, it’s no wonder the rehearsal dinner and welcome party before the big day can often fall to the wayside, or at the very least, not be afforded the same attention as the main event. Here are the questions wedding planning experts and vendors wish that couples would ask themselves while planning their rehearsal dinner.
If you’re on the hook to plan a wedding rehearsal dinner, or your the couple to be married and you’ve put it off until the last minute (no judgement!), you’ll want to pay close attention, we have some expert tips to make the whole process a whole lot easier and less stressful!
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
Prioritize YOU
Couples should not forget to prioritize their day and love above all else. Depending on many different factors, couples can feel pressured to run their weddings based on a “traditional” model. Some traditional weddings involve pressures on the marrying couple that they would not like to take on.
Jen Sulak, Lead Wedding Photographer of Weirdo Weddings, suggests couples ask themselves, “Do you want to manage your OWN party? Do you wish to have fun and just show up?”
Weddings and rehearsal dinners are once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, so it is important that couples consider how they want their events to look. Working off of this model will ensure less conflict as the wedding day approaches, and will take some stress off of the couple.
Additionally, Sulak believes that, “it is also important to remember that you are NOT the entertaining squad. You are the couple getting married, and I’ve never understood the need to entertain your guests when they are there to support you.”
Familial and friend pressure can be very real. However, couples can advocate for themselves and their wants in many different ways.
Also, there’s no need for the additional responsibility of entertaining guests when couples are already throwing the wedding! Wedding rehearsal dinners are a time for connection, so couples should not worry about interrupting the flow of conversation with additional entertainment.
Planners & Planning
Considering a wedding rehearsal dinner planner could help couples that feel inundated with wedding responsibilities. With all the additional stress of planning a wedding, the last thing couples - or their loved ones - need on their plate is planning a rehearsal dinner. Also, many couples find that planning a rehearsal dinner can be a lot more than they bargained for.
Sandy Brooks of Timeless Event Planning remarks, “Couples often forget that planning a rehearsal dinner is the same as planning a mini wedding, so sometimes hiring a planner to do everything will take off all the stress and forgetting little details.”
Although hiring a planner for a rehearsal dinner can come at an additional cost, the financial cost may prove to be worth the emotional and mental cost on those closely involved in wedding planning.
Couples often forget that wedding and event planners have a larger scope of expertise than just the wedding day, so it wouldn’t hurt to use that expertise for the wedding rehearsal dinner as well.
Set a Timeline & Schedule
Your rehearsal dinner should be treated as a separate event from your wedding and therefore it needs it’s own schedule and day of the rehearsal timeline. What time does the dinner start? Work backwards from there make sure to add in buffer time for late arrivals and transportation.
And, don’t forget that the details of the rehearsal dinner need to be communicated efficiently and clearly to all guests.
According to Megan Estrada, CEO of NSWE Events, “Toasts should be *gasp* scheduled!” In addition, “the dinner should be programmed and scheduled so you don’t have two hours of endless toasting. You should have a defined start and end time, a welcome toast at the beginning from the parent(s) of the groom/host, and then a schedule for if and when there will be entertainment to follow.”
Keeping on schedule will ensure optimal comfort for wedding rehearsal dinner guests. It will prepare them for the next day while ensuring that they are in the know of the schedule and keep their attention.
For more on setting the schedule, be sure to read our article on, “Things The Experts What You To Know About Planning A Rehearsal Dinner.”
Logistics
As unfortunate as it can be, logistics are vital to the wedding rehearsal dinner function. If couples decide to plan their own wedding rehearsal dinner or enlist a loved one to complete the task, logistics are very important. Katie Mast, director of community for Rock Paper Coin, says that “Couples forget all about the logistics, which often get left to the parents and wedding party to manage unexpectedly.”
She suggests hiring a planner to tackle questions like, “Who is setting up dinner, the decor, and who is cleaning up? Who is taking presents and where are they going? Who is tipping?”
Figuring out these logistics will save couples and their loved ones massive headaches come wedding rehearsal dinner day.
Arrange Transportation
Arranging transportation to and from the rehearsal dinner location and the wedding venue is vital--without transportation, there can’t be a rehearsal! While some couples can plan their wedding rehearsal dinner and wedding venue in the same building, some couples do not have that flexibility.
Arranging travel is important, but if left to the last minute, can become a significant cost. Frank Guertler, owner of Bunn DJ Company - Richmond VA, comments that “While special out-of-town guests may make carpool arrangements for the wedding, they might not have a car to get to the rehearsal dinner. So check their transportation plans and spot them an Uber. And if they have a car but don’t know your area, ensure they have good directions.”
Peter Mitsaelides, director of catering at Brooklake Country Club and Events, points out that, “If you live in a metropolitan area, evening rush hour traffic can impact getting to your rehearsal dinner. Pad that arrival time between rehearsal and dinner to allow for it.”
Rehearsal dinner logistics like transportation can often be neglected, but they are just as important as the wedding day. The good news is that if considered early, these travel obstacles can become less challenging!
Exploring Uber availability, reaching out to loved ones with cars, or arranging group transportation are all ways that couples can be proactive with this planning step.
Don't get stressed - get Let's Get Rehearsed’s FREE rehearsal dinner guide packed full of everything you need to plan a welcome party, from saving money to celebrating the night before the big day!
Pay Attention To The Guest List
Importantly, wedding rehearsal dinner planners should pay attention to their guest list. It is often suggested that couples keep their rehearsal dinner guest list on the smaller side. However, that can lead to many couples forgetting to invite those in the wedding party or in other important capacities.
Betsy Scott, owner of Hudson Valley Weddings at The Hill, observes that “Couples often forget to invite their officiant and their spouse to the rehearsal dinner. And they may forget those who will be reading at their wedding ceremony. When making the rehearsal dinner guest list, group those directly involved in the ceremony and any significant others.”
On the same token, it is not mandatory that you invite the spouses of your wedding party members. Make sure all of those involved in the wedding are invited, but if the addition of spouses expands the guests list too severely, couples could consider inviting spouses to the wedding welcome party instead.
For more on rehearsal dinner guest questions, be sure to read our article on, “Breaking Down The Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Guest List.“
Don’t Be Afraid To Decorate
Decorate your space however you see fit! Decorations easily bring this space to life for wedding rehearsal dinners!
Many wedding venues provide bare-bones space since they host many different kinds of events. Decor may not be provided or available since this venue may host many different cultural weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, quinceñeras, funerals, graduation parties, and more.
Sam Nelson, owner and principal planner of EVL Events, remarks that often forgotten is “adding a little decor to the space. Most couples will focus primarily on the wedding itself and tend not to do a thing for the rehearsal. If budget is of concern, ask your venue if they have any decor that they offer.”
Importantly, Sam also reminds couples, “If your venue hosts multiple events on the same evening, we highly recommend signage to avoid confusion.”
Decor can be practical or simply to please the eye, but either way, it is an important consideration for wedding rehearsal dinners. Themes often guide the types of decor for wedding rehearsal dinners, and there is no pressure to add a ton of decor either.
For easy and affordable wedding rehearsal dinner signs and invitations, be sure to check out the Let’s Get Rehearsed Shop.
The Message
Although this is a lot of information to take in, the message is quite simple: weddings are meant to celebrate the couple, however that may look, while respecting their guests.
If celebrating the couple looks like hiring your wedding planner for a few more hours so that the rehearsal dinner goes smoothly, by all means, take advantage of that resource.
If it means saving a few extra bucks by enlisting a trustworthy loved one to plan the event, make sure that they cover absolutely every base to ensure that the event goes as smoothly as possible.
No one wants the headache of wedding rehearsal dinner fiascoes the night before the big wedding day. Take every measure possible to avoid this, but if things do happen, try to go with the flow!
Who knows, an unexpected power outage or miscommunicated theme could become a family legend retold for years to come.
And keep in mind: the company matters more than anything else!
About Let’s Get Rehearsed!
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